Bruiser's Ishtek Holdings

Welcome to my home-away-from-home page. As a Nomadic New Age Insensitive Swell Type Of A Guy I like to keep hold of my compuserve page so that I can report in from the Housebot or when on tour with Lolita and the Lollipops. Well actually the last tour was in 1987, so I'm making it all up. But a damn good tour it was - Wagga Wagga will never be the same. Now I am away. And Ken, aka Kenny, aka Kelvis, aka Kenny J (pictured somewhere to the left) - the King - has taken time off from the local 7-11 and is busily conducting an archaeological dig in my former environs. Amongst other things I'm sure he will unearth what ever happened to my wine collection and how many sets of Twister I own.

As you can see from the picture on the right I have moved to somewhat more sedate environs, away from the Triple-X-Rated Crime-Riddled Reschs-Refreshed Panchromatic-Resonating domain that is reality. Actually the picture's a bit of a scam 'cause all the leaves have fallen off the trees and it's snowing, but that's not important right now. My pad is the one with the Leyland P76 Targa Florio hanging out of the garage. Of course it won't actually fit in the garage but I have to keep it away from falling trees. The car shown at the left was not as lucky, the sick sound of a smashing windscreen and crumpling metal recently disturbing my slumber. I have a hell of a time at the DMV. I believe it's the only P76 with New Jersey plates and quite frankly I'm getting sick of the attention it draws. Yes, it IS a car.

Anyhow, shortly after the Bow Tie Boys packed up my bootie and did their thing (hell of drive) I went to Atlanta because the painters were still busy painting over the power outlets and there were no local hotel rooms. There must have been an Amway Convention, or something. Note the rare photo of two Bow Tie trucks preparing to mate. Tell the kids they are just playing.

Now I've unpacked the coffee machine and am busy innovating, making the coffee that makes communications work. Of course I miss the simple life of my Antipodean mates and all that goes with the gruelling Bondi summers. I was lucky enough to participate in the time trials of De Tomaso The Tank Engine and the City to Surf, 1996. Well I didn't actually do any running but I did get to "Shoot the Snack Bar" quite a few times and cruel The Creature From The Black Lagoon. For the record it was not me inflicting glass pounding temper on the poor machine, it was Mr Home Improvement pictured above. I was also not responsible for sticking a bloody big boat in the public bar or a urinal in the beer garden. But I digress.

I did visit Las Vegas with 209,999 other digitally motivated people and I tell you a urinal in a beer garden has nothing on some of the mind-bending juxtapositions the decorators, and I use the term in the widest possible sense, have inflicted on that little piece of desert. I also visited Anaheim on what was meant to be the Inferno Disneyland Tour but to me it was just a good excuse to throw on the Billabongs and go for a body bash at nearby Huntington Beach.

And that's about it from Chateau Constantine - until the next time.

Disclaimers

"I didn't do it. I wasn't there. Nobody saw me." - Bart.
"I got the right day. I got the wrong week." - Shirl.